creative lovers | look at all the women | blogging carnival

Not Tonight Darling

creative lovers | look at all the women | blogging carnivalThis week marks the start of the ‘Look At All The Women’ Blogging Carnival to celebrate the launch of the book of the same name by Cathy Bryant. What makes this extra special to me, is I illustrated the book cover. Finally I can shout about it! So without further ado….

Welcome to the ‘Look At All The Women’ Carnival: Week 1 – ‘The Lovers’

This post was written especially for inclusion in the three-week-long ‘Look At All The Women’ carnival, hosted by Mother’s Milk Books, to celebrate the launch of Cathy Bryant’s new book ‘Look At All The Women’. This week our participants share their thoughts on the theme ‘The Lovers’ (the first chapter in Cathy’s poetry collection).

Please read to the end of the post for a full list of carnival participants.



Let’s set the scene. Hubby in bed, topless, lying on his side, resting his head on his hand, accentuating the bulge of his bicep. Wife-y, laying next to him, black negligee, long hair tousled around her shoulders and freshly shaven legs.

She peers longingly at it in her hand. He caresses it lightly with his fingers. They both start vibrating….

Simultaneously, with the touch of one finger they bring it closer to their mouths…

“Oh Hi……”

And so they continue their conversations on their mobile phones to impatient friends and family. Sound familiar?

This is the not so romantic picture I have often found myself in. Mobile phones in bed. Arrrgggg this is so wrong! It has to stop!

Hubby and I are so guilty of checking tweets, emails or playing with our apps into the night. Before long we’ve wasted an hour being intimate with our vibrating, beeping gadgets rather than with each other.

I’m turned on most of the day. By my phone. Turned on and tuned in.

Family and work life take their toll on us. We forget we are more than mothers, fathers, colleagues, friends. We are lovers. Passionate lovers who need to feel the power of touch from a loved one. Technology will never surpass this basic human need.

I’ve recently been watching and am addicted to ‘Orange is the New Black’. One scene really struck a cord with me. After a rocky start to time in prison, our heroine, Piper says she simply misses being touched.

Oh stop giggling at the back…

To be touched, a hug, a peck on the cheek, holding hands. As I said, it’s a basic human need. Children thrive on caring hugs and kisses from a parent. Or, do you remember those days as a teenager holding hands with your sweetheart. Even the classic ‘man hug’.

We need these physical exchanges. We would be emotionally lost without them.

As parents, we let the daily pressures of work and family life, literally grind us down. Let us not forget how we made our children in the first place! Let us not forget that we are sensual, sexual beings who need to mutually express that with those we love. Indulge your passion!

So put this laptop/mobile phone/tablet down. Roll over and give your wife, husband, your lover a kiss. You deserve to be loved tonight 😉

Footnote: I apologise to my hubby for this intimate post and any embarrassment caused. I was originally going to write about indulging our passions as creative people. But I just couldn’t resist writing something a little more intimate…I hope it inspires you and your lover!


Book cover for Look At All The Women by Cathy Bryant

Look At All The Women by Cathy Bryant
Look At All The Women is now available to buy from:

The Mother’s Milk Bookshop (as a paperback and PDF) – we can ship books around the world!

and as a paperback from

It can also be ordered via your local bookshop.

If you’d like to get involved in the ‘Look At All The Women’ carnival please find more details about it here:

Please take the time to read and comment on the following fab posts submitted by some wonderful women:

‘Fantasy, love and oddity.’ — Cathy Bryant, guest posting at Mother’s Milk Books, shares two of her favourite poems about lovers from her second collection of poetry, Look At All The Women.

‘The Walnut Hearts’Marija Smits shares some ‘nutty’ poetry about love and reflects on the role good communication has on a harmonious relationship.

Georgie St Clair shares her feelings on why we should indulge our passions as lovers in her lighthearted post — ‘Creative Lovers: Not Tonight Darling’.

‘The Lovers – Or What I Don’t Know About Love’ — Kimberly Jamison posts to her blog The Book Word what she has learnt about love from story books, people watching and her own life and wonders if she actually knows anything at all.

‘Implicit v Explicit’ — Ana Salote at Colouring Outside the Lines considers literature’s role in teaching children about relationships.

Comments 12

  1. Georgie, you just put a big grin on my face!

    What you said is so true – all these electronic gadgets that keep us tied to work, friends and family 24/7 are NOT good for romance! And as you said, they will never be able to replace (or replicate) the intimacy of real physical contact, which can do real wonders for any human relationship.

    Thank you so much for being brave enough to write this post – I’m sure most mamas reading this will appreciate it. I know I do! 😉

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      Haha good! I know the post is a bit tongue in cheek but it does have a deeper message. I really want people to connect again. Physically and emotionally. Technology is great but it’s also created a void in our relationships. At least the hubby is aware of how I feel now, even if it did take a blog post to make him take notice! xx

  2. Beautiful cover, Georgie. Reading your post, I think you should also write more.
    Your use of aides in the bedroom sounds consensual, as long as you’re both turned on, who am I to judge? Seriously, I’ve been at deathbeds where it’s clear that three real words between real people in real time (we all know the three) have more power and depth than a thousand texts, posts etc

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      Indeed, REAL words are so much more important than a gazillion text messages. I’ve actually started writing letters again – they seem to hold so much more meaning in this age of the email and instant text messages.

      Thank you for your lovely comment about my writing. My husband is now aware of my feelings towards our ‘bedroom aides’ (that made me giggle!) and my disapproval!

      It’s been lovely meeting you and discovering your writing thanks to the Carnival 🙂

  3. Georgie, the link from the carnival brought up an error message, so I had to access it via the archives – I do hope that people aren’t missing out on this post, because it’s terrific! I didn’t know that you were a natural writer as well as an artist. This piece made me think of a male friend who used to go to the hairdresser once a month, because it was the only time he was ever touched. Needless to say I gave him a big hug when he told me, and when I saw him afterwards. Thanks for this.

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      Wow, thanks for your complimentary comment Cathy – I feel especially honoured that you’ve complimented me on my writing! My goodness, your poor friend, I want to give him a hug too. As Audrey Hepburn said – “the best thing to hold onto is eachother” A simple touch, or hug… it has so much meaning. Thank you for stopping by my blog and commenting. Good luck with the book too!

  4. My challenge is not so much the phones (although I do definitely over-use mine) as my husband’s heavy work schedule, which means we barely see him when he’s working – and when he’s away, I do so miss those simple touches – holding hands, or a hug, or feeling him warm beside me in the bed. Would prefer less snoring, but would rather have that than nothing! Fab post 🙂 x

  5. Too true, this, and not just in the bedroom. My wife and I often sit staring at separate screens in our precious time together when the kids are asleep. A good reminder to look up and pay attention to how wonderful she is instead.

    And I dare say your husband won’t be too embarrassed to have his bulging biceps revealed to the world…

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  6. I completely agree. Sometimes we just get too wrapped up in the virtual world, we forget that there are real people around us, who would probably like our attention too.
    I think this is also true with friendships as well as romantic relationships, I have seen some of my friends text each other when they are no further than three feet away from each other, it is madness.
    Let’s bring back real interaction! I think some people have forgotten what real expressions look like, and only picture emoticons in their minds when they think of emotions. We need to connect again.

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  7. Pingback: The Walnut Hearts « Marija Smits

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