The Flip Flop: Challenge Limiting Beliefs
For this creative mindfulness exercise, bear with me as I add some theory here first. It's important you read this information because we are essentially challenging how we are naturally wired to think.
What Are Limiting Beliefs
Limiting beliefs are thoughts that inhibit us from actualising our full potential. They often develop in childhood, early adulthood and even through dysfunctional relationships.
From losing weight to starting a business, leaving a bad relationship, and starting a new one, limiting beliefs stop us from achieving our goals and ambitions.
You see, our brains have a natural disposition to feeling helpless. The technical term is 'learned helplessness’.
It's a slightly misleading title because it suggests we learn to be powerless. Our default mode is to feel helpless; it is pretty normal to think that we lack control over ourselves, our lives or the situations we find ourselves in. Therefore we have to learn to be confident and build self-belief to achieve our goals or life desires.
Couple this learned helplessness with our negativity bias - the bias towards paying more attention to the negative things in life, and we're screwed. Doomed to spend our days under a duvet listening to Morrissey and crying into our pillows at the actual or perceived absence of control we have over our sad, desperate lives.
Well, no. That's exactly what we're not doing.
According to a great article by Mark Manson, our limiting beliefs come in 'three flavours':
Limiting beliefs about yourself makes you feel like you can't achieve what you want because something is inherently wrong or lacking with you. This can relate to your age (e.g. too old, too young), physical (e.g. too fat, too weak) or emotional traits (e.g. too angry, too soft).
Limiting beliefs about the world makes you feel like you can't achieve your goals because other people won't let you. This involves worrying about what other people will think (e.g. your parents, coworkers, strangers on the internet), your biases and prejudices (e.g. religion, race or gender) or simply your ego (e.g. you're so special and unique no one will understand you!).
Limiting beliefs about life makes you feel like you won't do what you planned because life is too damn complicated. These limiting beliefs revolve around time (e.g. usually not enough), being too early/late (e.g. the business/book/idea you have has already been done, so you may as well give up), and what's real/imaginary (ingrained and deep-seated beliefs developed in childhood or through culture. These are probably some of the most challenging assumptions to break, but it's not impossible!).
Examples of Limiting Beliefs
It had been a difficult few weeks, and my own inner critic was determined to sabotage every ounce of happiness and confidence I had. Just as I was about to scrap the idea for Swap The Scroll for the 10 millionth time, randomly, a total stranger encouraged me to free-write for 5 minutes about my own limiting beliefs. Then counteract these beliefs by writing for another 5 minutes
"What a load of old crock," I thought.
However, I pride myself on my curious nature, so I went for it.
Boy, I'm glad I did!
Free writing about my limiting beliefs was illuminating and one of the reasons I decided to carry on with this website and my dreams of pivoting my career into teaching creative mindfulness. (Inspiring me to develop this FLIP FLOP: challenging limiting beliefs creative mindfulness exercise.)
Here are some of my limiting beliefs:
I'm too old to pivot into a new career.
I never have enough time to do everything I want and certainly won't have enough time to start a business.
My business will fail before it's even got started because I'm not an expert yet.
People won't understand what I'm doing and will think I'm stupid.
I'll never make any money from it.
Examples of Limiting Belief Statements
Our limiting beliefs statements usually start with:
I should
I can't...
I won't...
I'm not...
I don't...
They could present as statements such as
I'm too [old] [stupid] [fat] [thin] [shy] [insert yours here]
It's impossible because of [money] [family] [people opinions] [insert yours here]
I'm not [talented] [rich] [clever] [pretty enough] [insert yours here]
Sound Familiar?
Here's what to do about it...
It's Time to FLIP FLOP: Challenging Our Limiting Beliefs
Technically, we're going to FLOP then FLIP.
For this exercise you will need a pen and 2 pieces of paper
Instructions
1. Grab your 2 pieces of paper
On the first piece of paper, write FLIP at the top
On the second piece of paper, write FLOP at the top.
2. Take the FLOP page first.
On this page, you are going to write down your FLOPs - your limiting beliefs.
Write about a particular challenge in your life, a goal you want to achieve or limiting beliefs around your mental wellbeing or physical fitness goals. Notice any tension in your body when you write. What emotions are present?
Write statements as to why you can't achieve your goals or ambitions.
These statements usually start with:
I should
I can't...
I won't...
I'm not...
I don't...
It is impossible because...
I don’t have enough…
3. On the second piece of paper with FLIP at the top, write down a statement to counteract your FLOPS.
Write statements that align with achieving your goals or ambitions.
Statements that say what you can do today to make your goals happen; or the things you already have that can help you i.e. your knowledge, experience, talents or people around you that can help.
It may help to write as if you are talking to a friend or a child - what would you say to them if you were trying to help them with their own self-belief? Notice sensations in your body as you write. Do the words flow freely or is there resistance? Or negative self-talk. As always in mindfulness, we are not trying to change what we feel or hear, we are non-judgmentally noticing what our mind does.
These counteracting FLIP statements start with:
I can...
I will...
I am...
I deserve...
I love to...
It is possible because...
I have everything I need to [insert goal here] because...
4. Now, take your FLOPS. Read them through one more time. Notice what goes through your mind and body.
5. Slowly or quickly, screw up the piece of paper with your FLOPS and throw it in the bin. Now, how did that feel?
6. Next, take your FLIPS. Read them through. Again non-judgementally, notice what goes through your mind and body.
7. Finally put your list of FLIPs in your wallet, in your diary or notebook. Alternatively, create a note on your smartphone to refer back to regularly.
By regularly referring back to your FLIPs, you will naturally start to think more positively and grow your self-belief. You will feel more in alignment with your goals and eventually those limiting beliefs will be thrown into the recesses of your mind until they are forgotten completely.
Reflection & Inquiry
Use one word to describe how you felt when you wrote your FLOPS. Then one word to describe your FLIPS. Compare the experience of writing negative and positive statements. Do you feel ready to achieve your goals? Or are you still limiting yourself?
I suggest you do this exercise regularly to challenge those beliefs. It’s amazing what you uncover when you allow yourself to write freely in this way.
As always, I would love to hear more. Email your creations and thoughts to join@swapthescroll.com or tag them #swapthescroll @swapthscroll if you are on Instagram.
If you want to print out a worksheet you can download one here. I’ve included my FLIP FLOPS as an example.
Click the image to view a limiting beliefs worksheet for you to fill in. I’ve included my own example as ‘inspiration’!
I would love to see pictures of your creations. Email your images and thoughts to info@georgiestclair.com or tag me @georgiestclair on Instagram
Have an inspired day!
Georgie x