I Forgive You

Creative Mindfulness Exercise Called 'I For Give You" inspired by a poem by Dilruba Ahmed called 'Phase One'

One beautiful side effect I’ve caught from studying mindfulness is a deep love of poetry. A poem seems to transcend the normality of life and make the simplest of moments a moment to cherish.

In mindfulness meditation, poems are often used as a gateway to contemplation. As a result, I’ve found colossal comfort and not to mention humour from the myriad wordsmiths. Both alive and passed on and who have gifted us with their wealth of words as their legacy.

I’ve always been rather partial to making my own cut-up poems and fun ditties about everyday annoyances as a form of self-expression. For this creative mindfulness exercise, let’s use the words of a professional poet to inspire our own words.

A poem that landed quite by accident in my lap recently is called ‘Phase One’ by Dilruba Ahmed. In this poem, Dilruba repeats the words “I forgive you” over and over again. Perhaps to rid herself of guilt? To ease anxiety? To practice self-compassion? I’m unsure. But she brilliantly makes a list of all the angst and anxieties she holds against herself: leaving fridge doors open, dying seedlings and unkempt plants, lost luggage, feeling awkward, not always being a ‘nice’ person and so on.

This, of course, gave me an idea - how would I rewrite this poem for myself? To forgive Georgie St Clair and stop giving her such a bloody hard time! (Forgiveness is something I’m working on as a recovering perfectionist!)

So this is your task today. How would you forgive yourself? Use Dilruba’s poem as inspiration to get you started.

1st Attempt At Forgiveness

My first lines would be something like this:

For eating that extra piece of Mum’s delicious
gluten-free chocolate chip banana cake, I forgive you.
And so do your expanding thighs.

For getting annoyed at the kids, because you were tired,
and they seemed intent on
winding you up like a coiled spring,
I forgive you….

Easy but also incredibly powerful!

Here’s the whole poem to inspire your own version of self-forgiveness. Grab a piece of paper and a pen and write freely, openly, honestly and with compassion for yourself :)

‘Phase One’ by Dilruba Ahmed

For leaving the fridge open
last night, I forgive you.
For conjuring white curtains
instead of living your life.

For the seedlings that wilt, now,
in tiny pots, I forgive you.
For saying no first
but yes as an afterthought.

I forgive you for hideous visions
after childbirth, brought on by loss
of sleep. And when the baby woke
repeatedly, for your silent rebuke

in the dark, “What’s your beef?”
I forgive your letting vines
overtake the garden. For fearing
your own propensity to love.

For losing, again, your bag
en route from San Francisco;
for the equally heedless drive back
on the caffeine-fueled return.

I forgive you for leaving
windows open in rain
and soaking library books
again. For putting forth

only revisions of yourself,
with punctuation worked over,
instead of the disordered truth,
I forgive you. For singing mostly

when the shower drowns
your voice. For so admiring
the drummer you failed to hear
the drum. In forgotten tin cans,

may forgiveness gather. Pooling
in gutters. Gushing from pipes.
A great steady rain of olives
from branches, relieved

of cruelty and petty meanness.
With it, a flurry of wings, thirteen
gray pigeons. Ointment reserved
for healers and prophets. I forgive you.

I forgive you. For feeling awkward
and nervous without reason.
For bearing Keats’s empty vessel
with such calm you worried

you had, perhaps, no moral
centre at all. For treating your mother
with contempt when she deserved
compassion. I forgive you. I forgive

you. I forgive you. For growing
a capacity for love that is great
but matched only, perhaps,
by your loneliness. For being unable

to forgive yourself first so you
could then forgive others and
at last find a way to become
the love that you want in this world.

And Finally…

I’m creating a treasure chest of poems at the moment and have the mighty ambition of creating a book of mindfulness poems illustrated by yours truly one day. If you have any poems you love, do let me know. I’d love to read them.

I would love to see pictures of your creations. Email your images and thoughts to info@georgiestclair.com or tag me @georgiestclair on Instagram

Have an inspired day!

Georgie x